What’s a decent age to die?

This question popped into my mind a couple of times in the last few months. I have been having a health issue that caused me a whole lot of worry initially and now causes some amount of discomfort and pain.

After crossing forty many people face some or the other health issue, so why did I have to go and delve into my mortality? Well frankly I can’t pin point a single reason, but I did (wrongly) think at some point of time that I might not make it (being a creative person my imagination tends to go to extremes almost all of the time). That aside even after I was told that my health problem was going to resolve itself in due course, I still thought about it a few times.

So what is a decent age to die?

Is it decent to die before your children are grown up and able to cope with having one less parent?

No. Definitely not.

You’ve got to be there for them for a very good amount of time. How much time seems decent? Well I came to the hazy conclusion that if you live until they are married then it should be decent. This brings to mind soppy Hindi film storylines with the ill mother saying that she would like to see her child married before she dies. Whatever. I thought it nevertheless.

What is a socially decent age to die?

When should you die so that people do not point it out and think you’ve died too young? This depends on what the general social perception about it is, and frankly I don’t care much about this one. So let it hang, it doesn’t deserve any deliberation.

What is a good time to die for your own sake?

Now this was a really tough one. On the one hand by the time you are forty you’ve experienced most of what there is to experience in this material world. The spiritual world of course hasn’t even been scratched, and anyways the spiritual world doesn’t really care about whether you are living on earth or a soul freed from its body cage. Coming back to what is a good age to pop-it for your own sake, of course ‘the length of your natural life’ is a no brainer, but what if it were to be cut down unnaturally? Anything past fifty five seemed to be a good time. Your body is giving indications that it’s time to go, and all the material things are just repeating themselves endlessly. So, it will be good to hang on till that age at least, I guess.

Which brings me to a related question. What will I miss when I die? My family and loved ones for sure. Not much else though. Everything else, deep deep down is actually insubstantial. What really matters is the ones you love and who love you.

The question finally turned around on its head and gave me a simple answer.

Something beyond my physical brain said to me, “Sanjeev, make hay while the sun shines. Spend time with those you love and who love you, spread happiness among them, be happy with and for them, do things that make you and them happy, experience the moment to the fullest. And leave the rest to God.”

So make the most of your time and don’t ever think (I’ve stopped) about what a decent age to die is.

Is life such a big deal?

You are born, you grow up, you die. Ahem... the end? Nope, I don't think so. It can't be. All this struggle with inner and outer demons lasting your whole life so that you can turn into food for earthworms. Doesn't quite add up. There has to be more to life than living. We are not organisms destined to breed and spread. We can't be. So you became very successful, you made a lot of money, you wielded a lot of power. So what do you do with all of that in the end, feel worthy. Worthy for whom? Yourself? You mean to say you did all of this so that you could prove something to yourself. Oh my God, that's a humoungous waste. Just be happy with the way you are, you'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary pain and frustration. 

So what's the point? Why are we here, and what are we here for?

And here I will tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was a housefly who wanted to become the most awesome housefly ever. And he practised being an awesome housefly and being a perfect housefly. And he did become the best housefly there ever was. And then the housefly died. One man who had noticed that this housefly had become the greatest ever housefly, decided to write a book about it. He did, and the book became a bestseller, and the man became famous and rich. Then the man died. But he was remembered for years afterwards as the man who wrote the book about the greatest ever housefly. But this whole episode in the housefly's and the man's life wasn't a big deal really. But the housefly was happy while it lived and the man was happy while he lived, and that was a big deal for both of them.

So, if you live the best way you can, you'll be happy in your life. But it's no big deal really. Try to live happy, and let live happy. Happiness is better than unhappiness. If you have a mind that can unravel mysterious thoughts then you will find deep meaning in these words. Else you can just chill and be happy. And don't blame me if you feel you've read something that didn't quite add up, nothing in real life does anyway. 

What the cold does!

It is getting very cold here, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep the cold out of my mind and body. The cold is gnawing at my thoughts, and when I would normally be smiling and happy, I am trying to smile and trying to stay happy. If it was a sunny day today, I would have been a few notches happier for sure. Well what is it that makes me unhappy when the cold is severe, the same reasons that make me unhappy when I see a drab boring and stupid advertisement.

The spark is missing from some things in life, and when you see them it makes you feel that there are more missing sparks than there are flying sparks. That makes some people unsettled. Incredibly as soon as I wrote the words ‘trying to smile and trying to stay happy’, the sun came out momentarily to light up my workplace, as if to say hey how will you understand the true value of happiness if you never see the other side.

Well cold is good, so that cool can be valued better and warm can be enjoyed with utter abandon. Hot is bad though, and it gets hot for a long time here… all hail the air conditioner. If you are feeling cold today, know that warmth is coming your way.